Ask for More Forgiveness

live powerfully resilience selfcompassion stress thrive well-being Sep 29, 2022
Ask for More Forgiveness

We’re continuing the theme of how we ask for more of what we want and need, and this time, it’s forgiveness.

If you’ve been hurt by someone, it’s easy and natural to be angry and upset because of their actions. And often the interpretation of forgiveness can feel like we are endorsing the other person, but it doesn’t necessarily mean this. As Brene Brown in Rising Strong says:

“… If you can find it in yourself to forgive, then you are no longer chained to the perpetrator. You can move on…”

Fuelling the Problem

Holding onto this anger and resentment can eat up a huge amount of your energy. It’s easy to get caught in a destructive spiral: anger fuels resentment, which fuels upset and even more anger, and around you go. If it gets to a point where your life and energy get overrun by the situation, then it might be time to try something different.

Forgive to Move Forward

If you are moving towards forgiveness outside of a therapeutic setting, think small, to begin with. It’s always best to seek the support of a professional if abuse or trauma is involved. Be gentle with yourself.

But if there is someone in your life that you have been holding onto anger about and feel ready to let it go then, don’t think of forgiveness as weakness, or that someone has gotten away with hurting you. You may have the right to feel hurt, but forgiveness will give you back your power.

Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It means you refuse to be chained to them, or their actions anymore.

Breaking this connection means you’re no longer willing to be defined by the past or bound by the chains of resentment, you will be free to feel happy, to feel confident and get on with your own life. Your forgiveness is a sign of your strength and courage and this freedom is worth fighting for.

Forgive Yourself

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, it’s about your compassion towards yourself.

It’s especially important if you have been ruminating over an event that happened years ago that has no significance in your life today. This overthinking is helping to keep you immersed in the situation. Think about what you can learn from the experience and move on.

Let Go

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone what someone did, or that you’ll trust them again. It’s about you and moving forward with your life.

Take time out to reflect on what you need to let go of. Find some time to quieten your mind, for me it’s a walk in the countryside or breath work. Do whatever suits you and recognise that this history doesn’t need to define your future.

Think about the stories you are telling yourself and hold a symbolic closing ceremony. Write it down and shred or burn it, or visualise it floating away into the sky, whatever works for you.

Somebody once wisely said, “You can’t reach what’s in front of you until you let go of what’s behind you.”

Take your next step

Work out a plan of action to get you back flowing in a useful direction. Figure out what the first step is and take it now.

I passionately believe we all deserve to have a brilliant, healthy, happy life full of meaning and love. So, it’s time to start asking for more forgiveness in your life.

As ever, if you need more support with this, book a free call and find out how I can help you.

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